Duplicity

My love you whisper silver words
That glitter bright as gold
But seem more like a sharpened sword
And can be just as cold

My love you promise all my dreams
Like Sandman's dust on eyes
But every time I fall asleep
All I dream of are lies

My love you say you make me wings
So I may go and fly
But then you chain me to the ground
And make my freedom die

My love you say that you love me
Yet still you always leave
Despite everything you've promised
All you've done is deceive.

Specious

Temptation speaks through elegant words
A silver tongue gleams apparent truth
Charm and glamor shimmer brightly
A facade on lies and deceit

Colored lenses create new perspectives
Wings with promise for freedom
Attached to chains in the ground
Sweet sound of song playing
A siren's call to innocent ears

The lull of complacency to peace
Evil is not the listening nor thought
But guard your actions with sharp sword
Least you walk into the trap
A clear conclusion is hidden in veil

Doubt as black as midnight
Hold strong to the light of fading stars
Till dawns rays show truth
True beauty needs no cover
It lies in light, not shadows

I hear your words no more
Blind or a fool I am not
Temptations sweet call falls silent
As I walk away into sunrise
Night's reign has ended.

War's Song

To sing of war, such sad sweet melody
The husbands, brothers, sons that go to fight
With the full sun they battle and soon see
Blood, dead men descending with the rising night

Away, away the lost scared men flee
Screaming to be saved from death
Slaughtered, shot,living only in memory
Calling for wives and mothers, save me!

But the black casket comes, death claims prize
Farewell my love farewell the black veil falls
Morn all of the good, brave men who've died
Grim reaper comes, hear death's call
Once a mother and wife, stands a widow in her place
Says last goodbye, silent tears on her face.

The Hangman

Step up, it’s time
Your name is called
Each step; one, two, three
Creaks under the weight
Of each footfall
A thud to the heart
Whispering to you,
It’s time, it’s time
The man is up
His face unseen
Rope swings, sweet song
Chains clank reminding
That you will soon be free
They chafe the skin
Liberty within screaming
It’s time, it’s time
Smell the breeze around
Life still goes on
Hear the crowd jeering
Delight and fear in one
Your name on lips once more
They say it’s time, it’s time
Stand and wait
Suspense so great
Weighs heavy on your heart
Whisper a prayer
Escapes your soul
Any second the bottom drops out
Little hinges swing
At last
It’s time, it’s time

Perfect Pieces

Thousands of colorful pieces
Scrambled in a box
Upside down, right side up
Each matches another
One for one, perfectly designed
Fits together with only one mate
Oddly shaped, unique
Alone and separated they mean nothing
Place them together
Watch the picture form
Like any good thing
There are boundaries
Defined limits and an end
Containing intended chaos
Into organization and meaning
It builds and grows
Every piece to make a whole
One piece is missing, only one
A gaping wound of black
Draws the eye
Away from beauty to discontinuity
For each piece that fit into perfection
Pointless now
Only lacking one
So close to complete
Trash it, destroy
It cannot serve its purpose
Corrupted from its meaning
The missing piece
Makes the whole
Like a canvas with one tear
Creates a weakness, fragile
Who would have guessed
One piece in a thousand
Could make such a difference
The perfect puzzle
What a picture
It would have made

Enter Sandman

Enter Sandman

Soft sand falls on my eyelids
King of Dreams, come.
Whisk me away on wings
To new lands with kings
Where anything is possible

Hear the hum of flying fantasies
Where crystal blue waters
Shelter mermaids and kingdoms
Faerie's light glitters and glows
As I walk through green meadows
And my castle has no tower

Enter Sandman

And take me to the land of love
Where hope holds strong and true
Hearts held in gentle hands
The dust of heartbreak is a myth
Laughter spills like sunshine
And the only tears are rain

Whisper sounds of little laughter
A warm hearth, safe home
Feel the constant hand to hold
I walk through groves of money trees
As glass held in frames reflect memories
Paradise Found.


Enter Sandman

Clock hands slow, suspending life
Each tick shows,
Sugar, spice, and everything nice
And snakes, snails, and puppy dog tails
As they run around and grow.
Like little trees that sprout leaves
And make strong roots below.

Hands stand still, stopped.
The black waterfall flows
Into the pool of eternal dreams
Across the endless sea I go,
To the never ending kingdom
Here crowned Queen.

Enter Sandman,
King of Dreams
Scatter your dust,
One more time.

The Mask

A mask to hide,
A cloak to shield
The perfect disguise
It will not yield

What’s underneath?
Behind the curtain,
Of the show
Truth is,
I don’t even know

Worn so long
A second skin
Shut everything out,
Let nothing in

Who is this person?
I can’t seem to find
Who I was those days
I left them behind

A different life
Another land, another place
Grown up, time passes
A different face

Old me on the alter
A new being stands here
But no one can see her
And that’s what I fear

No one sees into
A dark abyss of black
Only way is forward
Can’t go back

Pull it apart
Layer by layer each day
Until nothing’s left
Then I can say

This is who I am.

One King

One King
Stands atop a hill
Overlooking his kingdom
With a broken crown

Once a ruler
Of many subjects
Now he stands alone
But,

He would rather
Be the ruler
Of an empty kingdom
Than a subject
In a full one

Here he makes the laws
With no court or judge
No jury to hang
A private pile of riches
For the taking

He has his throne
He has his crown
No man can bring him down
They tried and failed
Still here he stands
He will rise again

A new crown shines
Life regrows
Atop a hill stands
One king

A Cinderella Story

A Cinderella Story

Prince Charming throws another dart at the board
Cinderella’s face smiles back
You wouldn’t recognize him
The silver armor is gone,
No steed awaits him
Just a black t-shirt and jeans
With a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips

He’d been to the tower,
Fought the dragon and rescued the princess;
And then she ran off with someone else
What a bitch.
A poison apple would have made a better end
He gave her everything,
She laughed in his face

He should have left her there,
Last time he made that mistake
Fool me once…
Princesses be damned
Welcome to the Prince’s Anonymous club

A last dart, the paper shreds
So Prince Charming leaves the bar
One step closer to the villain, than any hero
Thank you Cinderella
As if Prince Charmings weren’t already in short supply
There are enough villains here, without you adding to them
You’re no princess, just a witch in disguise
An enchantress with a dagger, poisoned with evil

He takes a drag on the sidewalk outside
And says one last thing before he walks away:
“Just Remember,
Be careful what you wish for,
Because you just might get it.
Don’t come crying to me,
When there’s no one there to rescue you.
You put yourself in your tower,
Pity won’t get you out.”

He straddles his bike, black smoke kicks up
The deep rumble of his menacing engine starts
He puts on his helmet, lifts his shield;
As he rides off he raises his finger in salute:
Here’s to your Happily Ever After.

Friendship

I would give you the world,
If I thought it would make you happy.
I would give you a song,
To make your soul sing.
I would hand you your dreams,
If I thought you would take them.
And lay down the stars of the sky at your feet,
To light your way.
But we were not meant to be a duet;
Rather two separate songs sung in harmony.
And so I will give you what you need to succeed,
Hope and courage, a hand.
I will sing you a song,
For you to hear with enjoyment.
We will celebrate the dreams you achieve,
and I will help you achieve them.
Your way will be lit,
By the streetlight that is our friendship.
And one day, when we're old,
We will look back and say:
What a wonderful thing it is,
To have a friend.

Rebel Child

Rebel Child

Rebel child, drown your pain
Down it trying to stay sane
Drink until there’s nothing left
Float on top, victorious
Above it all you reach out
Actions louder than words you shout

Rebel child, smoke in haze
Drift among the endless days
Forget the worries that plague your mind
Doing something to pass the time
No one watches, no one cares
On your own in the world out there

Rebel child, drive with speed
Insatiable, can’t fill the need
Sharp curves come, dead end ahead
But who would care if you were dead?

Rebel child, scream out loud
But no one hears one in the crowd
Seek and ye shall find it goes
In the darkness no one knows
A black filled with nothing here
The future is what most you fear

Rebel child, look for love
Maybe there’s someone up above
You cannot see, you build the wall
Let no one in, you cannot fall
Do not build up just to destroy
You life is not another's toy

Rebel child, actions we see
The person you were meant to be
If only you had turned away
Instead of whom you are today
A fortress built of stone and brick
Surrounded you are sick of it

Rebel child, bleed it out
You see the blood instead of shout
To feel the pain and feel alive
The only way you can survive
In your room you keep it in,
The chaos you feel from within
There’s no one there to speak it to
No one, it seems, cares about you

Rebel child, reach out a hand
Someone grab it, if you can
It is not easy nor is it fair
To fight alone in the world out there
But if they take a second to aid
A life, one person might have saved

Rebel child, so you go
Fallen down so very low
The news is out, look on page two
Another child dead, it’s you
Delinquent, bad, the label says
Another life we let fall dead
Society's new found trend
A rebel child till the end

The Waltz

The Waltz

One
Move together forward
Two bodies, one movement
Two minds, one intention
One dance, one joy

Two
Sideways, plateau
Two feet, two ways
Two souls, two desires
Two people, two goals

Three
Step back, retract
Three steps, going back
Three words
Three times, each failed

Four
Back again, the beginning
Four ways, one place
Four pains, two souls and two hearts
Bow and leave

Spin out, guide
A new partner, a new way

One
One desire, one hope
One dream, two ways
One outcome, one direction
One partner, two people

Two
Standing together, side by side
But separate
Two dancers, one dance
Two places, one room

Three
Back, return, cut in
Three wishes
Old partner, new chances
Same steps, same floor

Four
On and on, always the same
The music repeats
We leave it all to chance
Four steps, one choice

Bow
Leave or stay
The dance goes on

One Day

Oh that what I would give for a day
To see the bright colors of dawn pierce through the darkness
To feel the sun’s rosy fingers caress my skin with warmth
Hear hope spreading like whispers on morning breezes
And see dreams reflected on the newly fallen dew of life
Silence fills the cold air as the world awakens
Full of potential and promise
The sun’s rays peak and rise to show the world the truth

Warmth seeps through, that I could lay here for eternity
Basking in its glory and joy
Seeing all that surrounds in its splendor
Beauty that cannot be expressed
I need nothing more
One day I have to live
Frolicking through meadows and green pastures
Fertile land brings life forth with wildflowers
Birds sing their sweet songs
No cloud dares mar the sky in its wide expanse
My soul is home, happy, that all dreams are so easily fulfilled

What I would give to stay here
But already twilight creeps forth, bringing darkness
Reminding with fading light that all things must end
As dawn rose, so it fades, slowly
Reminding of promise and dreams, hope
To have seen the truth and its beauty
The sinking of the sun is magnificent, striking in its own way
There is beauty in sadness, warmth to the cold
For once you see the world, light is ever present
Even when the darkness rises I close my eyes and see
I can still feel the warmth, see the light
After dawn the world is never the same
Oh that what I would give for a day

city on fire

Leslie stood there, match in hand. She was cold and the newspaper promised to burn hot if she set it alight. The match stuck, hissing as it lit. She carefully arranged the papers and set them on fire. Flames jumped up, eager, greedy to consume and destroy. It warmed her hands. A spark flew but she ignored it, it was just some ash. Warmth began to creep though her body, but from behind. Leslie turned and saw flames eating the wooden crates that were piled against a wall. Oops. She couldn’t be caught here, the abandoned warehouse had no trespassing signs up and she had nothing to put the fire out. She grabbed the few things she had and left.
“Fire!” Leslie heard the shout and turned. The building had caught and flames were bursting out the windows, trying to lick the sky. Billows of black smoke consumed the blue leaving everything murky and clouded. Whatever, it was just some stupid warehouse; there was nothing and no one in it. The firefighters would put it out and that’d be the end of it. She stood there and watched the building burn. The heat was intense, caressing her skin, making her adrenaline run. She had done this, created this destruction. In some ways it was fascinating, exciting, and in others terrifying. Even in the face of this ruin there was some fascination. There was something about watching things being destroyed that stroked the curiosity and soul in her. Still there was no one to put it out, no sirens or flurry of activity. Leslie started to walk off, she didn’t want to be near here when someone did show up. As she turned an explosion of noise sounded from behind her. The first floor of the building had propane tanks that ignited. She had seen them and forgotten they were there. The force of the explosion had made the flames jump from the warehouse to the building next to it. The flames were already forcing their way into the crevasses, attacking any part that would willingly feed them.
As Leslie watched the flames began to move from one building to another, insatiable, impatient, uncontrollable. Slowly they engulfed everything right in front of her eyes. Now everyone was trying to put the flames out with buckets of water, hoses, whatever they could get. The city was burning. Her excitement turned to terror. Leslie ran to the nearest building and began throwing water onto it from an abandon bucket. People were running, escaping as fast as possible. A few stopped and told her to give up and go, get out. The destruction was too massive, leave it be. But she couldn’t and wouldn’t do that. This was her place, her city, her home and she would not stand by and leave it to die. Too late she realized she had to do something to save it and the flames would no longer obey her commands. She fought for what she loved, all to no avail.
Finally the heat was too much, the flames were everywhere, surrounding. Everyone had long fled if they could. Leslie had heard screams throughout the night of people who were trapped. Each one would haunt her memories. She dropped the bucket and ran. Most of the people had gone south to the river, but Leslie headed north to the hill that acted as an overlook. She stood there, alone and watched as everything she loved was taken away. Look at what such a little spark had created. So much devastation that had reaped great consequences for such a selfish action. Obliterated, annihilated, chaotic, and alone. Watching from the top of the hill Leslie saw the sky turn red as blood. Flames lit up the night sky, so bright, a beacon of destruction rather than hope; but there, calling all the same. The flames seemed to whisper her name, Leslie look at what you’ve done, they seemed to say, was this what you wanted? Tears flowed freely down her face as the full force of the cost hit her. The screams still sounded in her mind of the people that had been destroyed, everything that had been lost.
Half way through the night defining noises began coming from the city. The buildings were collapsing. The flames had incinerated everything inside each building, leaving nothing but a shell. Windows had been shattered out, columns of support were gone, and now there were nothing to hold the facades up. Each collapsed inward, on itself, letting the final devastation claim it. The rest of the night every building collapsed and was reduced to ashes. The dawn came, orange and red, with smoke fading into the horizon. The blaze had stopped sometime in the early hours of the morning, everything was smoldering, with softly glowing embers. Leslie walked down from the hill, into the ashes of the city, black soot covering her. The air was thick and heavy, almost suffocating. Debris were piled around, small objects twisted beyond recognition, mutated by the flames. One or two objects were still identifiable, and they caused more pain as they reminded of what used to be there. Walking through the streets Leslie heard shadows of laughter from children playing in the streets, and vendors shouting their wares. She had razed the city and there was no one else to blame.
Leslie walked to the very middle of town, where the courthouse used to be. There was no longer any building, no prison to hold her or judge to condemn her, no court to decide her fate. Her judgment and punishment would be to remember, to face what she had created and no jury could inflict greater penalty than that. She vowed, then and there, that she would not leave this place until she rebuilt it. Looking over the miles of barren and charred ground the prospect was not appealing. The amount of work and effort was daunting at best and almost hopeless in truth. It had taken mere hours to destroy but to build would take years. There would be those who would come back and help her, slowly, those that returned when it was done, and some who would never come back at all. Leslie kicked the ground, sending ash into the already ash filled air. As she was about to walk off she saw something out of the corner of her eye. A small flower somehow stood tall, green and vibrant. It was a sign of life and hope in the dark and devastation. Strength poured in her as she knew there was still something there, a reason to continue. She looked up and saw someone walking toward her and started toward them. A first step, a new beginning, a second chance.

Promise Me

Just promise me you'll stay by my side
Promise me a love that will never die
Promise me a way back to you
I will always love you, I will never leave
Just promise me:
A way to stay next to you
Never go a place I can't go too
We have been through so much already,
So promise me

I know that it's your time to go
But promise me one thing before you do
A way back to you, to see your face
Promise me a way to feel your embrace
Promise me a way to hear your voice
I will listen, I have no choice
My heart is not my own, it belongs to you
If you leave my heart will too
And all that will be left is a shadow of who I used to be
So promise me

Just a little longer is all I ask
Let this moment linger, may it never pass
Please don't close your eyes,
Not yet oh;I am not ready to let go
Before you go away, before you leave
promise me:
Promise me one day we'll see each other again
Promise me that this not the end

It's too early for your time
We were just beginning to do fine
The budding of a new love into bloom
And now it's all ending far too soon
What happened to forever?
What happened to never letting go?


When you are around I feel as if I could fly,
You give me wings that give me strength to try
Anything, anything at all
Because I know you'll be there if I fall
Promise me a tomorrow
Promise me a sunrise
Promise me I'll wake up and look into your eyes
Promise me that fairytale endings can come true
'Cause I can't imagine my life without you

Just a little longer is all I ask
Let this moment linger, may it never pass
Please don't close your eyes
Not yet oh; I am not ready to let go
Promise me one day we'll see each other again
Promise that this is not the end
Promise me
Promise me

city lights

City Lights
I sit here in my studio apartment over looking eighty fourth and sixty second street. The sound of raindrops lulls my mind as they plink against the window. The pillows on the window seat under me contort to the shape of my body softly. My black dress crumples around my legs, hiked up around my thighs. My bare feet lay naked on the sill, pale in the darkness of the night. Hair spills around my face, what used to be neat curls are now lazy waves. The street lights glow giving direction to those who walk below. The lights change, cars go and people move. I can’t see faces; just umbrella’s and shapes as the figures on the sidewalk move quickly to get out of the rain. Cars splash, leaving little trails behind. Everything seems to have a reason, a purpose. I used to have a reason. I used to have a purpose.
My college life was everything one could hope for. I lived for each day and the people in it. Some came, some went but two stayed, always. Samantha and Scott were my two best friends. Every decision I made they were there, in my mind. I did everything for them, and they for me. Love grew for both of them, in different ways. Samantha was like the sister I never had, Scott was the one boy I learned to let in. They both meant as much to me as family. My father was young and healthy, my mother a feminine spirited woman. Through the four years of college life the three of us went up and down. They were there for me when I was sick, depressed, on the verge of alcoholism, scared and alone. I was there for them as boyfriends and girlfriends came and went. As financial troubles pressed Scott. We shared in the joy of road trips, concerts, party nights, moving, living. The three of us did crazy things, shared many conversations and more laughter. Always we were there for each other. Classes came and went. Each of us moved a few times around the city. We stood side by side as trials hit us like waves on a sea wall. We were strong, together we made it through everything. Senior year my father died from a heart attack. Scott and Sam stood strong on either side of me, keeping me afloat when I was too weak to stand on my own. Scott fell into financial ruin and Sam and I helped him work through it. The economy failed making it hard for any of us to find jobs and pay bills. We moved in together, eating ramen and macaroni and cheese by candle light to save money. My life, my purpose was propelled by these two. Scott got sick and was in the hospital, I was in New York. I bought a ticket off someone who was boarding the next plane to Atlanta and got there as fast as I could. We celebrated when he got his first big job/internship with a prominent advertising company. I cried with joy when Samantha got married to that special young man. College was great, a little microcosm of protection we lived in.
Samantha moved away when her husband was transferred by his company to another city. We still spoke often; she had a child, then another. Her life had altered. Her world was her husband and children, as it should be. Scott and I moved into the city, he working with an advertising company, making big money. I lived comfortably in my flat as an upcoming lawyer. We got together often for lunch or to hang out, but our jobs consumed both of us. I went out and partied occasionally but it held nothing for me, it was empty. A few months after moving to the city I was told my mother had Alzheimer’s. Over the next year I went to see her until she wouldn’t even remember who I was. Scott held me many nights after I made these trips. Sam visited, showing me her family, the life she had made. She had a successful career as an interior decorator. Then Scott’s company went bankrupt. The CEO had embezzled millions, he was going to lose everything. His girlfriend walked out on him when she heard. I was at work when I received the news; Scott had hung himself. His life was his job, the things he had worked for. The funeral was two days later. The ceremony was beautiful, Samantha was there. I set a red rose on top of the rich wood coffin. We went back to my place and had coffee while we remembered all the times we had. Samantha eventually went to bed, I stayed up thinking. What had I built? What was my life? I looked around and saw the couch I bought, the hardwood floors, the city life below. I saw the bowls and plates that gave color to my kitchen and finally the pictures that littered my desk. The faces of my father, my mother, Samantha and Scott stared back at me. Sam stayed for a week but had to return to her family, her life.
I reflected on all these things as I sit here and watch the hectic pace of the people walking in the city. It is so full of life, so many people out there working to make their dreams, to find their purpose. Each one is fighting to make their own way. People are full of hope, of expectations. Everyone is also full of fear. Fear that that hope will fail, collapse. It is not failing that scares us, it is fear of losing hope, losing dreams. So what if I had a successful career? I had an amazing loft in the city, enough money to live comfortably, no worries really. But I had no worries because I had nothing. God says he will never give us a trial we cannot make it through. And so in this moment I have also lost my faith, the last shred of hope I could hold onto. Tears on my face quickly match the drops running down the glass panes inches in front of me. So true to form I pick up my gun, say a prayer and go out with a bang.

sandman

Surrounded by darkness, its black depths cocoon you in a blanket of safety. Laying there, listening to the rain tapping on the window. Each drop making a soft plink as it lands, a gentle rhythm of life. Soothing and calming, as the cold bitter wind blows outside. Drifting slowly, wrapped in soft blankets that smell like soap detergent and people. Warm and happy as you creep toward the barrier between reality and dream. Glowing lights from the street seep through the cracks in the blinds, giving a soft glow like lightning bugs. The white ceiling with its spiked and speckled texture reflects shadows as cars pass by the window. Quiet and calm, eyes flitter as they begin to close, passing to another world. Hearing the sounds of friends in the next room, feeling the warmth of the blankets, of the soft bed beneath, and the rhythm of the rain like a lullaby, rocking you to fairytale kingdoms and places where anything is possible. Leaving one world for another, temporarily, leaving everything behind. Knowing while the mind leaves you are safe. Feeling secure and sheltered, like nothing could go wrong. As content in one world as in the next, but each gets a turn. The balance between what is and what could be, what was and what might. Walking through a candy forest as it rains gumdrops, you can hear them hit the ground. Light seeping under the door disappears as someone passes by. A knight in armor rides up next to you, casting a shadow over you. The sound of soft footfalls as they walk back to their room. And you ride off toward the castle, the journey begins.

Eleven

One day with you
Two days alone
Three times the charm
Four makes it even
Five choices
Six failures
Seven answers
Eight questions
Nine lives
Ten pins, they all fall down.

Footprints

I remember it was
But no longer is
What could have been
Will no longer be
It's a slow fade
To forget
Or even to have to remember
Solidity becomes spirit
Warmth becomes cool
The present is the past
Living in a ghost
Like a knife
During the day stabs
Haunts your dreams
In the dark of the night
When you fall
There is nothing there to catch you
It is all shadows
Fake, false promises
Reach out for safety
And find your hands slip through
Left alone, behind
Shadows of the past
It was
But no longer is
It could have been
But will never be
It brings a smile to your lips
But an ache to your heart
A tear to your eye
A warmth to your spirit
Torn, don't want to forget
But it hurts to remember
Like the image of a footprint
On the sand
Slow to fade away
The signs are still there
Imprinted, reminding
Time passes
The print fades
But it is not gone
Remembering it is there
Forget and it is done
The destiny of all things
To pass and live only
In the land of things eternal
To be remembered.

the sinner's plea

I'm tired of stumbling in the darkness
And being blinded by the light
I'm tired of losing battles, I no longer want to fight
My soul is beaten, battered
My heart is tired and torn
My body is so broken, my mind is worn
All I want is peace, just a little joy
I'm tired of being tossed around like some old useless toy
Like a yen without a yang, like a ship without a sail
I fell like no matter what I try all I do is fail
It's not that I don't want to work
Or I don't want to try
But all the hurt and frustration makes me want to cry
I'm all alone and lost wandering around
Give me wings to fly instead of crawling on the ground

I wish, I wait, I wonder as time goes by
With every new heartache my soul slowly dies
I feel so alone, so abandon and forgotten
No one cares what they step on,
Where their footprints trodden
And as the dreams go by I begin to lust
All I want is happiness, that is all I ask
Yet no one can provide this easily filled task
In my many trials I try to fill the hole
With different pills and alcohol but in the end I know
That I will still be empty, nothing will quite do
I've slowly come to realize what I need is you

Through the joy I see in others, the smiles on their faces
Makes me want to follow them to all of the places,
That they go and see where they find it all
The place I've come to realize is not a place at all
Instead it is a God full of mercy and of grace
Can he save this sinner from this lonely place?
He gave me white upon birth, I've turned it into black
And now I am afraid it's too late to go back
Alone it's true I'm helpless, there's nothing I can do
But the love of God will always see me through.