Rebel Child
Rebel child, drown your pain
Down it trying to stay sane
Drink until there’s nothing left
Float on top, victorious
Above it all you reach out
Actions louder than words you shout
Rebel child, smoke in haze
Drift among the endless days
Forget the worries that plague your mind
Doing something to pass the time
No one watches, no one cares
On your own in the world out there
Rebel child, drive with speed
Insatiable, can’t fill the need
Sharp curves come, dead end ahead
But who would care if you were dead?
Rebel child, scream out loud
But no one hears one in the crowd
Seek and ye shall find it goes
In the darkness no one knows
A black filled with nothing here
The future is what most you fear
Rebel child, look for love
Maybe there’s someone up above
You cannot see, you build the wall
Let no one in, you cannot fall
Do not build up just to destroy
You life is not another's toy
Rebel child, actions we see
The person you were meant to be
If only you had turned away
Instead of whom you are today
A fortress built of stone and brick
Surrounded you are sick of it
Rebel child, bleed it out
You see the blood instead of shout
To feel the pain and feel alive
The only way you can survive
In your room you keep it in,
The chaos you feel from within
There’s no one there to speak it to
No one, it seems, cares about you
Rebel child, reach out a hand
Someone grab it, if you can
It is not easy nor is it fair
To fight alone in the world out there
But if they take a second to aid
A life, one person might have saved
Rebel child, so you go
Fallen down so very low
The news is out, look on page two
Another child dead, it’s you
Delinquent, bad, the label says
Another life we let fall dead
Society's new found trend
A rebel child till the end
Monday, December 21, 2009
The Waltz
The Waltz
One
Move together forward
Two bodies, one movement
Two minds, one intention
One dance, one joy
Two
Sideways, plateau
Two feet, two ways
Two souls, two desires
Two people, two goals
Three
Step back, retract
Three steps, going back
Three words
Three times, each failed
Four
Back again, the beginning
Four ways, one place
Four pains, two souls and two hearts
Bow and leave
Spin out, guide
A new partner, a new way
One
One desire, one hope
One dream, two ways
One outcome, one direction
One partner, two people
Two
Standing together, side by side
But separate
Two dancers, one dance
Two places, one room
Three
Back, return, cut in
Three wishes
Old partner, new chances
Same steps, same floor
Four
On and on, always the same
The music repeats
We leave it all to chance
Four steps, one choice
Bow
Leave or stay
The dance goes on
One
Move together forward
Two bodies, one movement
Two minds, one intention
One dance, one joy
Two
Sideways, plateau
Two feet, two ways
Two souls, two desires
Two people, two goals
Three
Step back, retract
Three steps, going back
Three words
Three times, each failed
Four
Back again, the beginning
Four ways, one place
Four pains, two souls and two hearts
Bow and leave
Spin out, guide
A new partner, a new way
One
One desire, one hope
One dream, two ways
One outcome, one direction
One partner, two people
Two
Standing together, side by side
But separate
Two dancers, one dance
Two places, one room
Three
Back, return, cut in
Three wishes
Old partner, new chances
Same steps, same floor
Four
On and on, always the same
The music repeats
We leave it all to chance
Four steps, one choice
Bow
Leave or stay
The dance goes on
Sunday, December 13, 2009
One Day
Oh that what I would give for a day
To see the bright colors of dawn pierce through the darkness
To feel the sun’s rosy fingers caress my skin with warmth
Hear hope spreading like whispers on morning breezes
And see dreams reflected on the newly fallen dew of life
Silence fills the cold air as the world awakens
Full of potential and promise
The sun’s rays peak and rise to show the world the truth
Warmth seeps through, that I could lay here for eternity
Basking in its glory and joy
Seeing all that surrounds in its splendor
Beauty that cannot be expressed
I need nothing more
One day I have to live
Frolicking through meadows and green pastures
Fertile land brings life forth with wildflowers
Birds sing their sweet songs
No cloud dares mar the sky in its wide expanse
My soul is home, happy, that all dreams are so easily fulfilled
What I would give to stay here
But already twilight creeps forth, bringing darkness
Reminding with fading light that all things must end
As dawn rose, so it fades, slowly
Reminding of promise and dreams, hope
To have seen the truth and its beauty
The sinking of the sun is magnificent, striking in its own way
There is beauty in sadness, warmth to the cold
For once you see the world, light is ever present
Even when the darkness rises I close my eyes and see
I can still feel the warmth, see the light
After dawn the world is never the same
Oh that what I would give for a day
To see the bright colors of dawn pierce through the darkness
To feel the sun’s rosy fingers caress my skin with warmth
Hear hope spreading like whispers on morning breezes
And see dreams reflected on the newly fallen dew of life
Silence fills the cold air as the world awakens
Full of potential and promise
The sun’s rays peak and rise to show the world the truth
Warmth seeps through, that I could lay here for eternity
Basking in its glory and joy
Seeing all that surrounds in its splendor
Beauty that cannot be expressed
I need nothing more
One day I have to live
Frolicking through meadows and green pastures
Fertile land brings life forth with wildflowers
Birds sing their sweet songs
No cloud dares mar the sky in its wide expanse
My soul is home, happy, that all dreams are so easily fulfilled
What I would give to stay here
But already twilight creeps forth, bringing darkness
Reminding with fading light that all things must end
As dawn rose, so it fades, slowly
Reminding of promise and dreams, hope
To have seen the truth and its beauty
The sinking of the sun is magnificent, striking in its own way
There is beauty in sadness, warmth to the cold
For once you see the world, light is ever present
Even when the darkness rises I close my eyes and see
I can still feel the warmth, see the light
After dawn the world is never the same
Oh that what I would give for a day
Sunday, November 22, 2009
city on fire
Leslie stood there, match in hand. She was cold and the newspaper promised to burn hot if she set it alight. The match stuck, hissing as it lit. She carefully arranged the papers and set them on fire. Flames jumped up, eager, greedy to consume and destroy. It warmed her hands. A spark flew but she ignored it, it was just some ash. Warmth began to creep though her body, but from behind. Leslie turned and saw flames eating the wooden crates that were piled against a wall. Oops. She couldn’t be caught here, the abandoned warehouse had no trespassing signs up and she had nothing to put the fire out. She grabbed the few things she had and left.
“Fire!” Leslie heard the shout and turned. The building had caught and flames were bursting out the windows, trying to lick the sky. Billows of black smoke consumed the blue leaving everything murky and clouded. Whatever, it was just some stupid warehouse; there was nothing and no one in it. The firefighters would put it out and that’d be the end of it. She stood there and watched the building burn. The heat was intense, caressing her skin, making her adrenaline run. She had done this, created this destruction. In some ways it was fascinating, exciting, and in others terrifying. Even in the face of this ruin there was some fascination. There was something about watching things being destroyed that stroked the curiosity and soul in her. Still there was no one to put it out, no sirens or flurry of activity. Leslie started to walk off, she didn’t want to be near here when someone did show up. As she turned an explosion of noise sounded from behind her. The first floor of the building had propane tanks that ignited. She had seen them and forgotten they were there. The force of the explosion had made the flames jump from the warehouse to the building next to it. The flames were already forcing their way into the crevasses, attacking any part that would willingly feed them.
As Leslie watched the flames began to move from one building to another, insatiable, impatient, uncontrollable. Slowly they engulfed everything right in front of her eyes. Now everyone was trying to put the flames out with buckets of water, hoses, whatever they could get. The city was burning. Her excitement turned to terror. Leslie ran to the nearest building and began throwing water onto it from an abandon bucket. People were running, escaping as fast as possible. A few stopped and told her to give up and go, get out. The destruction was too massive, leave it be. But she couldn’t and wouldn’t do that. This was her place, her city, her home and she would not stand by and leave it to die. Too late she realized she had to do something to save it and the flames would no longer obey her commands. She fought for what she loved, all to no avail.
Finally the heat was too much, the flames were everywhere, surrounding. Everyone had long fled if they could. Leslie had heard screams throughout the night of people who were trapped. Each one would haunt her memories. She dropped the bucket and ran. Most of the people had gone south to the river, but Leslie headed north to the hill that acted as an overlook. She stood there, alone and watched as everything she loved was taken away. Look at what such a little spark had created. So much devastation that had reaped great consequences for such a selfish action. Obliterated, annihilated, chaotic, and alone. Watching from the top of the hill Leslie saw the sky turn red as blood. Flames lit up the night sky, so bright, a beacon of destruction rather than hope; but there, calling all the same. The flames seemed to whisper her name, Leslie look at what you’ve done, they seemed to say, was this what you wanted? Tears flowed freely down her face as the full force of the cost hit her. The screams still sounded in her mind of the people that had been destroyed, everything that had been lost.
Half way through the night defining noises began coming from the city. The buildings were collapsing. The flames had incinerated everything inside each building, leaving nothing but a shell. Windows had been shattered out, columns of support were gone, and now there were nothing to hold the facades up. Each collapsed inward, on itself, letting the final devastation claim it. The rest of the night every building collapsed and was reduced to ashes. The dawn came, orange and red, with smoke fading into the horizon. The blaze had stopped sometime in the early hours of the morning, everything was smoldering, with softly glowing embers. Leslie walked down from the hill, into the ashes of the city, black soot covering her. The air was thick and heavy, almost suffocating. Debris were piled around, small objects twisted beyond recognition, mutated by the flames. One or two objects were still identifiable, and they caused more pain as they reminded of what used to be there. Walking through the streets Leslie heard shadows of laughter from children playing in the streets, and vendors shouting their wares. She had razed the city and there was no one else to blame.
Leslie walked to the very middle of town, where the courthouse used to be. There was no longer any building, no prison to hold her or judge to condemn her, no court to decide her fate. Her judgment and punishment would be to remember, to face what she had created and no jury could inflict greater penalty than that. She vowed, then and there, that she would not leave this place until she rebuilt it. Looking over the miles of barren and charred ground the prospect was not appealing. The amount of work and effort was daunting at best and almost hopeless in truth. It had taken mere hours to destroy but to build would take years. There would be those who would come back and help her, slowly, those that returned when it was done, and some who would never come back at all. Leslie kicked the ground, sending ash into the already ash filled air. As she was about to walk off she saw something out of the corner of her eye. A small flower somehow stood tall, green and vibrant. It was a sign of life and hope in the dark and devastation. Strength poured in her as she knew there was still something there, a reason to continue. She looked up and saw someone walking toward her and started toward them. A first step, a new beginning, a second chance.
“Fire!” Leslie heard the shout and turned. The building had caught and flames were bursting out the windows, trying to lick the sky. Billows of black smoke consumed the blue leaving everything murky and clouded. Whatever, it was just some stupid warehouse; there was nothing and no one in it. The firefighters would put it out and that’d be the end of it. She stood there and watched the building burn. The heat was intense, caressing her skin, making her adrenaline run. She had done this, created this destruction. In some ways it was fascinating, exciting, and in others terrifying. Even in the face of this ruin there was some fascination. There was something about watching things being destroyed that stroked the curiosity and soul in her. Still there was no one to put it out, no sirens or flurry of activity. Leslie started to walk off, she didn’t want to be near here when someone did show up. As she turned an explosion of noise sounded from behind her. The first floor of the building had propane tanks that ignited. She had seen them and forgotten they were there. The force of the explosion had made the flames jump from the warehouse to the building next to it. The flames were already forcing their way into the crevasses, attacking any part that would willingly feed them.
As Leslie watched the flames began to move from one building to another, insatiable, impatient, uncontrollable. Slowly they engulfed everything right in front of her eyes. Now everyone was trying to put the flames out with buckets of water, hoses, whatever they could get. The city was burning. Her excitement turned to terror. Leslie ran to the nearest building and began throwing water onto it from an abandon bucket. People were running, escaping as fast as possible. A few stopped and told her to give up and go, get out. The destruction was too massive, leave it be. But she couldn’t and wouldn’t do that. This was her place, her city, her home and she would not stand by and leave it to die. Too late she realized she had to do something to save it and the flames would no longer obey her commands. She fought for what she loved, all to no avail.
Finally the heat was too much, the flames were everywhere, surrounding. Everyone had long fled if they could. Leslie had heard screams throughout the night of people who were trapped. Each one would haunt her memories. She dropped the bucket and ran. Most of the people had gone south to the river, but Leslie headed north to the hill that acted as an overlook. She stood there, alone and watched as everything she loved was taken away. Look at what such a little spark had created. So much devastation that had reaped great consequences for such a selfish action. Obliterated, annihilated, chaotic, and alone. Watching from the top of the hill Leslie saw the sky turn red as blood. Flames lit up the night sky, so bright, a beacon of destruction rather than hope; but there, calling all the same. The flames seemed to whisper her name, Leslie look at what you’ve done, they seemed to say, was this what you wanted? Tears flowed freely down her face as the full force of the cost hit her. The screams still sounded in her mind of the people that had been destroyed, everything that had been lost.
Half way through the night defining noises began coming from the city. The buildings were collapsing. The flames had incinerated everything inside each building, leaving nothing but a shell. Windows had been shattered out, columns of support were gone, and now there were nothing to hold the facades up. Each collapsed inward, on itself, letting the final devastation claim it. The rest of the night every building collapsed and was reduced to ashes. The dawn came, orange and red, with smoke fading into the horizon. The blaze had stopped sometime in the early hours of the morning, everything was smoldering, with softly glowing embers. Leslie walked down from the hill, into the ashes of the city, black soot covering her. The air was thick and heavy, almost suffocating. Debris were piled around, small objects twisted beyond recognition, mutated by the flames. One or two objects were still identifiable, and they caused more pain as they reminded of what used to be there. Walking through the streets Leslie heard shadows of laughter from children playing in the streets, and vendors shouting their wares. She had razed the city and there was no one else to blame.
Leslie walked to the very middle of town, where the courthouse used to be. There was no longer any building, no prison to hold her or judge to condemn her, no court to decide her fate. Her judgment and punishment would be to remember, to face what she had created and no jury could inflict greater penalty than that. She vowed, then and there, that she would not leave this place until she rebuilt it. Looking over the miles of barren and charred ground the prospect was not appealing. The amount of work and effort was daunting at best and almost hopeless in truth. It had taken mere hours to destroy but to build would take years. There would be those who would come back and help her, slowly, those that returned when it was done, and some who would never come back at all. Leslie kicked the ground, sending ash into the already ash filled air. As she was about to walk off she saw something out of the corner of her eye. A small flower somehow stood tall, green and vibrant. It was a sign of life and hope in the dark and devastation. Strength poured in her as she knew there was still something there, a reason to continue. She looked up and saw someone walking toward her and started toward them. A first step, a new beginning, a second chance.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Promise Me
Just promise me you'll stay by my side
Promise me a love that will never die
Promise me a way back to you
I will always love you, I will never leave
Just promise me:
A way to stay next to you
Never go a place I can't go too
We have been through so much already,
So promise me
I know that it's your time to go
But promise me one thing before you do
A way back to you, to see your face
Promise me a way to feel your embrace
Promise me a way to hear your voice
I will listen, I have no choice
My heart is not my own, it belongs to you
If you leave my heart will too
And all that will be left is a shadow of who I used to be
So promise me
Just a little longer is all I ask
Let this moment linger, may it never pass
Please don't close your eyes,
Not yet oh;I am not ready to let go
Before you go away, before you leave
promise me:
Promise me one day we'll see each other again
Promise me that this not the end
It's too early for your time
We were just beginning to do fine
The budding of a new love into bloom
And now it's all ending far too soon
What happened to forever?
What happened to never letting go?
When you are around I feel as if I could fly,
You give me wings that give me strength to try
Anything, anything at all
Because I know you'll be there if I fall
Promise me a tomorrow
Promise me a sunrise
Promise me I'll wake up and look into your eyes
Promise me that fairytale endings can come true
'Cause I can't imagine my life without you
Just a little longer is all I ask
Let this moment linger, may it never pass
Please don't close your eyes
Not yet oh; I am not ready to let go
Promise me one day we'll see each other again
Promise that this is not the end
Promise me
Promise me
Promise me a love that will never die
Promise me a way back to you
I will always love you, I will never leave
Just promise me:
A way to stay next to you
Never go a place I can't go too
We have been through so much already,
So promise me
I know that it's your time to go
But promise me one thing before you do
A way back to you, to see your face
Promise me a way to feel your embrace
Promise me a way to hear your voice
I will listen, I have no choice
My heart is not my own, it belongs to you
If you leave my heart will too
And all that will be left is a shadow of who I used to be
So promise me
Just a little longer is all I ask
Let this moment linger, may it never pass
Please don't close your eyes,
Not yet oh;I am not ready to let go
Before you go away, before you leave
promise me:
Promise me one day we'll see each other again
Promise me that this not the end
It's too early for your time
We were just beginning to do fine
The budding of a new love into bloom
And now it's all ending far too soon
What happened to forever?
What happened to never letting go?
When you are around I feel as if I could fly,
You give me wings that give me strength to try
Anything, anything at all
Because I know you'll be there if I fall
Promise me a tomorrow
Promise me a sunrise
Promise me I'll wake up and look into your eyes
Promise me that fairytale endings can come true
'Cause I can't imagine my life without you
Just a little longer is all I ask
Let this moment linger, may it never pass
Please don't close your eyes
Not yet oh; I am not ready to let go
Promise me one day we'll see each other again
Promise that this is not the end
Promise me
Promise me
Monday, October 5, 2009
city lights
City Lights
I sit here in my studio apartment over looking eighty fourth and sixty second street. The sound of raindrops lulls my mind as they plink against the window. The pillows on the window seat under me contort to the shape of my body softly. My black dress crumples around my legs, hiked up around my thighs. My bare feet lay naked on the sill, pale in the darkness of the night. Hair spills around my face, what used to be neat curls are now lazy waves. The street lights glow giving direction to those who walk below. The lights change, cars go and people move. I can’t see faces; just umbrella’s and shapes as the figures on the sidewalk move quickly to get out of the rain. Cars splash, leaving little trails behind. Everything seems to have a reason, a purpose. I used to have a reason. I used to have a purpose.
My college life was everything one could hope for. I lived for each day and the people in it. Some came, some went but two stayed, always. Samantha and Scott were my two best friends. Every decision I made they were there, in my mind. I did everything for them, and they for me. Love grew for both of them, in different ways. Samantha was like the sister I never had, Scott was the one boy I learned to let in. They both meant as much to me as family. My father was young and healthy, my mother a feminine spirited woman. Through the four years of college life the three of us went up and down. They were there for me when I was sick, depressed, on the verge of alcoholism, scared and alone. I was there for them as boyfriends and girlfriends came and went. As financial troubles pressed Scott. We shared in the joy of road trips, concerts, party nights, moving, living. The three of us did crazy things, shared many conversations and more laughter. Always we were there for each other. Classes came and went. Each of us moved a few times around the city. We stood side by side as trials hit us like waves on a sea wall. We were strong, together we made it through everything. Senior year my father died from a heart attack. Scott and Sam stood strong on either side of me, keeping me afloat when I was too weak to stand on my own. Scott fell into financial ruin and Sam and I helped him work through it. The economy failed making it hard for any of us to find jobs and pay bills. We moved in together, eating ramen and macaroni and cheese by candle light to save money. My life, my purpose was propelled by these two. Scott got sick and was in the hospital, I was in New York. I bought a ticket off someone who was boarding the next plane to Atlanta and got there as fast as I could. We celebrated when he got his first big job/internship with a prominent advertising company. I cried with joy when Samantha got married to that special young man. College was great, a little microcosm of protection we lived in.
Samantha moved away when her husband was transferred by his company to another city. We still spoke often; she had a child, then another. Her life had altered. Her world was her husband and children, as it should be. Scott and I moved into the city, he working with an advertising company, making big money. I lived comfortably in my flat as an upcoming lawyer. We got together often for lunch or to hang out, but our jobs consumed both of us. I went out and partied occasionally but it held nothing for me, it was empty. A few months after moving to the city I was told my mother had Alzheimer’s. Over the next year I went to see her until she wouldn’t even remember who I was. Scott held me many nights after I made these trips. Sam visited, showing me her family, the life she had made. She had a successful career as an interior decorator. Then Scott’s company went bankrupt. The CEO had embezzled millions, he was going to lose everything. His girlfriend walked out on him when she heard. I was at work when I received the news; Scott had hung himself. His life was his job, the things he had worked for. The funeral was two days later. The ceremony was beautiful, Samantha was there. I set a red rose on top of the rich wood coffin. We went back to my place and had coffee while we remembered all the times we had. Samantha eventually went to bed, I stayed up thinking. What had I built? What was my life? I looked around and saw the couch I bought, the hardwood floors, the city life below. I saw the bowls and plates that gave color to my kitchen and finally the pictures that littered my desk. The faces of my father, my mother, Samantha and Scott stared back at me. Sam stayed for a week but had to return to her family, her life.
I reflected on all these things as I sit here and watch the hectic pace of the people walking in the city. It is so full of life, so many people out there working to make their dreams, to find their purpose. Each one is fighting to make their own way. People are full of hope, of expectations. Everyone is also full of fear. Fear that that hope will fail, collapse. It is not failing that scares us, it is fear of losing hope, losing dreams. So what if I had a successful career? I had an amazing loft in the city, enough money to live comfortably, no worries really. But I had no worries because I had nothing. God says he will never give us a trial we cannot make it through. And so in this moment I have also lost my faith, the last shred of hope I could hold onto. Tears on my face quickly match the drops running down the glass panes inches in front of me. So true to form I pick up my gun, say a prayer and go out with a bang.
I sit here in my studio apartment over looking eighty fourth and sixty second street. The sound of raindrops lulls my mind as they plink against the window. The pillows on the window seat under me contort to the shape of my body softly. My black dress crumples around my legs, hiked up around my thighs. My bare feet lay naked on the sill, pale in the darkness of the night. Hair spills around my face, what used to be neat curls are now lazy waves. The street lights glow giving direction to those who walk below. The lights change, cars go and people move. I can’t see faces; just umbrella’s and shapes as the figures on the sidewalk move quickly to get out of the rain. Cars splash, leaving little trails behind. Everything seems to have a reason, a purpose. I used to have a reason. I used to have a purpose.
My college life was everything one could hope for. I lived for each day and the people in it. Some came, some went but two stayed, always. Samantha and Scott were my two best friends. Every decision I made they were there, in my mind. I did everything for them, and they for me. Love grew for both of them, in different ways. Samantha was like the sister I never had, Scott was the one boy I learned to let in. They both meant as much to me as family. My father was young and healthy, my mother a feminine spirited woman. Through the four years of college life the three of us went up and down. They were there for me when I was sick, depressed, on the verge of alcoholism, scared and alone. I was there for them as boyfriends and girlfriends came and went. As financial troubles pressed Scott. We shared in the joy of road trips, concerts, party nights, moving, living. The three of us did crazy things, shared many conversations and more laughter. Always we were there for each other. Classes came and went. Each of us moved a few times around the city. We stood side by side as trials hit us like waves on a sea wall. We were strong, together we made it through everything. Senior year my father died from a heart attack. Scott and Sam stood strong on either side of me, keeping me afloat when I was too weak to stand on my own. Scott fell into financial ruin and Sam and I helped him work through it. The economy failed making it hard for any of us to find jobs and pay bills. We moved in together, eating ramen and macaroni and cheese by candle light to save money. My life, my purpose was propelled by these two. Scott got sick and was in the hospital, I was in New York. I bought a ticket off someone who was boarding the next plane to Atlanta and got there as fast as I could. We celebrated when he got his first big job/internship with a prominent advertising company. I cried with joy when Samantha got married to that special young man. College was great, a little microcosm of protection we lived in.
Samantha moved away when her husband was transferred by his company to another city. We still spoke often; she had a child, then another. Her life had altered. Her world was her husband and children, as it should be. Scott and I moved into the city, he working with an advertising company, making big money. I lived comfortably in my flat as an upcoming lawyer. We got together often for lunch or to hang out, but our jobs consumed both of us. I went out and partied occasionally but it held nothing for me, it was empty. A few months after moving to the city I was told my mother had Alzheimer’s. Over the next year I went to see her until she wouldn’t even remember who I was. Scott held me many nights after I made these trips. Sam visited, showing me her family, the life she had made. She had a successful career as an interior decorator. Then Scott’s company went bankrupt. The CEO had embezzled millions, he was going to lose everything. His girlfriend walked out on him when she heard. I was at work when I received the news; Scott had hung himself. His life was his job, the things he had worked for. The funeral was two days later. The ceremony was beautiful, Samantha was there. I set a red rose on top of the rich wood coffin. We went back to my place and had coffee while we remembered all the times we had. Samantha eventually went to bed, I stayed up thinking. What had I built? What was my life? I looked around and saw the couch I bought, the hardwood floors, the city life below. I saw the bowls and plates that gave color to my kitchen and finally the pictures that littered my desk. The faces of my father, my mother, Samantha and Scott stared back at me. Sam stayed for a week but had to return to her family, her life.
I reflected on all these things as I sit here and watch the hectic pace of the people walking in the city. It is so full of life, so many people out there working to make their dreams, to find their purpose. Each one is fighting to make their own way. People are full of hope, of expectations. Everyone is also full of fear. Fear that that hope will fail, collapse. It is not failing that scares us, it is fear of losing hope, losing dreams. So what if I had a successful career? I had an amazing loft in the city, enough money to live comfortably, no worries really. But I had no worries because I had nothing. God says he will never give us a trial we cannot make it through. And so in this moment I have also lost my faith, the last shred of hope I could hold onto. Tears on my face quickly match the drops running down the glass panes inches in front of me. So true to form I pick up my gun, say a prayer and go out with a bang.
sandman
Surrounded by darkness, its black depths cocoon you in a blanket of safety. Laying there, listening to the rain tapping on the window. Each drop making a soft plink as it lands, a gentle rhythm of life. Soothing and calming, as the cold bitter wind blows outside. Drifting slowly, wrapped in soft blankets that smell like soap detergent and people. Warm and happy as you creep toward the barrier between reality and dream. Glowing lights from the street seep through the cracks in the blinds, giving a soft glow like lightning bugs. The white ceiling with its spiked and speckled texture reflects shadows as cars pass by the window. Quiet and calm, eyes flitter as they begin to close, passing to another world. Hearing the sounds of friends in the next room, feeling the warmth of the blankets, of the soft bed beneath, and the rhythm of the rain like a lullaby, rocking you to fairytale kingdoms and places where anything is possible. Leaving one world for another, temporarily, leaving everything behind. Knowing while the mind leaves you are safe. Feeling secure and sheltered, like nothing could go wrong. As content in one world as in the next, but each gets a turn. The balance between what is and what could be, what was and what might. Walking through a candy forest as it rains gumdrops, you can hear them hit the ground. Light seeping under the door disappears as someone passes by. A knight in armor rides up next to you, casting a shadow over you. The sound of soft footfalls as they walk back to their room. And you ride off toward the castle, the journey begins.
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